the écoute Summerstackinistas
the world needs more unhinged award shows
Last week we were blessed with a showing of the Las Culturistas Culture Awards1, which was so silly and campy and needed given *gestures around at everything*. There were iconic performances and celebrity appearances (also - hilariously - absences), and prestigious award categories that included the Eva Longoria Award for Tiny Woman, Huge Impact (winner: Quinta Brunson), the Best Way to Ride With Your Bitches (winner: Big van that housewives get on to go on trips), and the Best Word to Scream (winner: never!!!!!!)
A seriously unhinged pop culture awards show is a welcome distraction in the year 2025. As we are two weeks into August - and with a proliferation of fall fashion-themed Substacks already hitting my inbox - I thought a similarly unhinged recognition of notable summer fashion and beyond moments dominating the Substack discourse was warranted.
So without further ado!
The Erewon Smoothie Award for It Seems Like a Scam But I Also Get That It’s Really Good: The Row $690 flip flops (runner-up: The Row $620 shower shoes)
The Eva Longoria Award for Tiny Bag, Huge Impact: Jacquemus’ original Chiquito bag, which can basically fit a lip gloss and which turned the brand into a major fashion player and the ne plus ultra producer of summer resort wear and Mediterranean fashion pop-ups
Chords of the Summer (Song Edition): the power chords in the chorus of Wet Leg’s “CPR”
Cords of the Summer (Accessory Edition): the Dorsey paracord collection
Most Unhinged Lisa Rinna Couture Week Look: Lisa Rinna at Balenciaga (runner-up: Lisa Rinna at Viktor & Rolf)
The Christina Aguilera Award for Best Genie: Aflalo Lolana pants (runner-up: Alaïa balloon pants)
The Blue Stone Manor Fish Room Award for Best Marine Accessory: the Juju Vera Petra shell necklace (runner-up: the Staud sardine clutch)
The Best Encapsulation of the Kombucha Women Meme: the return of capris
The PSL Award for Excellence in Fall Launches (Basic Girly Edition): The Life of a Showgirl by Taylor Swift (last minute entry)2
The Khaite Boot Award for Excellence in Fall Launches (Fashion Girly Edition): Phoebe Philo Collection D
And last but certainly not least:
The Rudest Thing to Happen to an Emma: Vogue’s September Issue cover (runner-up: when the L train left me on read at Union last week in 30C+ heat despite the screen saying it would show up in 4 minutes)
Congratulations to the winners, you’re all icons!
I am famously not a podcast person - with apologies to the number of people who have wholeheartedly recommended podcasts to me over the years - so I’ve never listened to Las Culturistas however Bowen Yang is the best thing on SNL these days and any person who recognizes the brilliance of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is a friend of mine.
Absolutely no shade, I am so excited for this. Only Taylor will make me listen to a podcast.